It wasn't easy for me to be diagnosed. It all started over a year ago with a cough. I believe I did catch an upper-respritory infection from a student. I continued to cough through the month of May but thought nothing of it because I usually have seasonal allergies at that time. Summertime, the cough seemed to subside. My cousins from Italy were here and I spent the whole summer sight-seeing and walking miles and not having trouble breathing. Then when school resumed in September, the cough came back. I thought it was from poor ventilation or mold in the school. As the months continued, I began to feel worse. I was tired a lot and had trouble breathing. Oh-the most obvious symptom was the weight loss. That began after the coughing when my cousins were here. I did not lose much at first and attributed it to the extra exercise and less snacking. But around the holidays, I could not keep my weight on and the coughing was becoming unbearable.
I made an appointment to see my primary care physician in February. She seemed to think that I had asthma. She sent me for a chest x-ray and pulmonary function test. After seeing how bad my x-ray was, she sent me to a pulmonary doctor. I went to my mother's doctor because he is very good and I trust him. But I could not get an appointment until March. So I thought, I waited this long what's a couple more weeks? The day I went to see him, he told me that my x-ray was very bad, my pulse-ox level dipped to 78 when I walked, and that I was not to return to work. He ordered oxygen for me to have at home. I was stunned. He sent me for test after test, starting with the least invasive. I had bloodwork, CT scan, galium scan, a broncoscopy and they all showed nothing. Finally, in April I had to have surgery-VATS-video assisted thoroscopy. They had to do a lung biopsy to get the diagnosis which showed that I had Hodgkin's lymphoma. It took a complete month to be diagnosed.
The worst part of being home was not knowing what was wrong with me. It was very depressing. I was missing my students. I was not allowed to do anything because I could not move about without becoming out of breath. The way I explained it to people is that I felt as if I had no purpose in life. My husband Steve and sister Andrea did everything for me. Andrea even spent many nights sleeping in my house to help us out. Also, we all decided not to tell my parents that I was home sick for fear of what it might do to their health. So when I was lonely and just wanted to talk to someone, I couldn't even call my mother. But I reminded myself that after all she has been through, I am lucky to have a mother to call. We told my parents everything the day before my surgery. I did not think it was right to have surgery without them knowing and could not figure out how I would hide being in the hospital from them.
Anyway, they say that if you must have cancer, Hodgkins and prostate are the ones you would wish for because they are highly curable. Well, I can't have prostate, and I was very thankful to be diagnosed with a cancer that is so curable. But that did not keep me from being scared to death. I have always had this feeling about cancer, a deep fear of it. Whenever I heard of someone having it, I always got this feeling in the pit of my stomach and prayed that it would never happen to me. I did not believe I would ever be able to handle going through chemotherapy. I never had this feeling about other terrible illnesses-it's almost as if I knew someday that I would have to deal with it. But I have never heard a bad outcome about a Hodgkin's case, and at this point that is what kept me going. I put my trust totally in Steve, my sisters Andrea and Patricia, and as always God. I am very fortunate to have a nurse and a doctor for sisters. So I told them just tell me where to go and what to do and I will do it. Someone recently said that she didn't know how I was doing this. What choice do I have? I can't say no I don't want to do this. When you are faced with a challenge you just have to do it.
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