New CT scan/PFT-Great News!

Yesterday I had a CT scan and today I had a pulmonary function test.  The pulmonary function test showed great improvement, and the CT scan showed that the infiltrations they saw in the last one have diminished.  I am so happy and relieved. I have a follow up visit with the pulmonary doctor and another pulmonary function test on December 20th to monitor my progress.  But she said that she does not need another CT scan.  I am being weaned off the prednisone (down the 30 mg the next 2 weeks, 20 the following 2 weeks, then I will decrease by 5 mg every 2 weeks after that).  She also said that she is fine with me going back to work after the Christmas break.  So, tomorrow I will talk to my oncologist about writing a letter so that I can return.  The best part is that I have been feeling so good.  Today I walked all over NY without getting out of breath at all.  That is more than any test can show. I still have to resolve the issue with the nodule on my thyroid, but no one seems too excited about that. This is great news, thanks again to everyone for your prayers and support. How did I celebrate?  With a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity, of course!   Hair update-I am still wearing the wig, but I am a little bit past the crew cut length!  I have all my eye brows and lashes. 

Faith

Faith is an interesting thing.  Everyone knows that the two things you do not discuss with mixed company are religion and politics.  Last night, we were at a dinner party when religion came up (not by us-I swear!).  I mostly kept quiet because I was meeting these people for the first time, and when I get emotional, it is hard for me to find the words to express myself.  And faith can not be argued because people without it need cold hard facts.

There was only one man who had a problem with religion in general.  He kept bringing up why does God allow bad things to happen, and specifically mentioned cancer without knowing my situation.  I made a few polite comments but he had a negative answer for everything.  Later that evening, someone asked me how I was doing.  So I went on to tell everyone how things are progressing and that I am doing very well.  I saw him giving a friend of mine the what does she have? look" (trying unsuccessfully to be subtle).  So I announced to those who did not know that I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma and just completed six months of chemotherapy.  I think this surprised him a bit to say the least.

I found it interesting that although he used cancer as an example of God's indifference toward man, he obviously was not directly affected by it.  You see, people who have been affected by it have a bond and will talk about it with each other.  People who have not experienced it (directly or indirectly) have a fear of even talking about it.  He was uncomfortable when I began to talk about my cancer experience.  If I could tell him something about faith, I would tell him not to worry about the cancer patients.  I cannot speak for everyone, but I have made many friends at Sloan of different faiths.  I have yet to meet someone who has lost faith, and never has anyone that I met questioned God's love for us all.  We pray for each other and give each other strength and encouragement.  So please do not use us as an example of why you do not have faith.

It's not something that you can understand unless you have lived it.  After getting through the initial shock of having cancer, I accepted this as part of God's plan for me.  Would I have raised almost $4,000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society if this had never happened?  Maybe because of my illness, a child with leukemia will have medicine that his or her family could not afford.  Isn't that such a cool thing?  Yes, in a perfect world everyone would have everything they need.  But we are not perfect and that's life.  Is that man doing something to make a difference instead of blaming God?

Everything is a matter of perception.  We can choose to see the ugly side of life or the beautiful side.  I don't like to preach to people because I have not walked in anyone else's shoes either.  But I do hope that by choosing to see everything as a gift, even the hard stuff, that I can influence people to choose to see the beauty in this world and to turn bad situations into positive ones.

The Holy Alphabet

I received this in an email from a friend and liked it so much that I wanted to share it in my journal.

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
J oy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
(e)X alting God most high
Y es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!" The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.


PS: GOD LOVES YOU...PASS THE WORD ON AND ASK THEM TO CONTINUE TELLING OTHERS THAT GOD LOVES THEM TOO. JUST THINK OF HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT COULD BE REACHED OUT TO AND BLESSED WITH THESE WORDS.

Steve's reunion

Steve's reunion was fun and interesting. It is really something to see people 20 years after high school. He caught up with a group of old friends and they really enjoyed it. We both wish there was a bigger turn out, but still glad that we went. Here is a picture of us before the party.

CT Scan results-11/05

Yesterday, I went to see my doctor about the CT scan I had on Monday.  It's not the greatest news but it's not the worst news either.  I have been getting out of breath after exerting my self over the past week or so.  I thought I might need another transfusion.  My oncologist said that there are new abnormalities on the periphery of my lungs and that is why I am getting out of breath.  He said that he honestly did not know what it is.  It could be a side effect of one of my chemo drugs.  He said that it is definitely not a new cancer, and that he did not believe that Hodgkin's could come back that aggressively after such an aggressive treatment.  But since I never presented like a typical Hodgkin's patient, he though I might need another lung biopsy to be sure.  He called a pulmonary doctor in Sloan and she was able to see me at 2 o'clock.  She wanted me to have a pulmonary function test, which I did at 11 o'clock.  On this test, I did slightly worse than I did in July, but that is still much better than the one I took in February.   So all morning I was upset because I thought I might need surgery again.  But the pulmonary doctor is very sure that it is inflammation caused by one of my chemo drugs.  She is putting me back on prednisone (40 milligrams a day) and will decrease that by 10 each month until my lungs heal.  That is nothing since during my treatment I took 180 milligrams a day.  I never liked taking it, but it is much better than surgery!  So, the 29th of November I will repeat my CT scan and on the 30th I will repeat the pulmonary function test and see the pulmonary doctor.  As for the nodule on my thyroid, my oncologist says that we will check it after this is all cleared up.  But as far as treatment from him, I am finished, so that is a good thing.  Of course, I will always have to go for periodic check ups, but that is to be expected.  

Other than the getting out of breath, I feel fine.  I was very proud of myself during the pulmonary function test because I had to go up and down stairs for a minute and a half and the lowest pulse-ox reading was 95%!  That is way better than March when walking on flat ground it dropped to 78%.  So until the prednisone kicks in, I will take it a bit easy.  When I feel better, I will get back to my exercising to build up my strength again.  What a rollercoaster!  And I like rollercoasters but I can't wait to get off this one!  

It's funny when you write an entry in the AOL journal because you can pick a mood from a drop-down menu.  You can't type one in if their selections do not fit what you are feeling.  So what is my mood?  I am very happy and grateful that my chemotherapy treatment is over and that it seems I won't need another lung biopsy.  I am a bit dissappointed that the medicine had this effect on my lungs.  Yet, every chemotherapy drug I was given had it's risk factors and could have affected every major organ in my body.  So, inflammation in my lungs is not the worst thing that could have happened.  And I admit, I am tired of going to the doctor each time and them finding something new.  For once, I would like them to say your tests are good, we'll see you in a few months.  But I won't complain because there are people so much worse off than me, and I know the day will come when the doctor does say that to me.  I just have to keep on going and be patient.  So, I picked "hopeful" today because I am feeling so many things and I think the overall statement I need to make is that I haven't lost hope.  

On the lighter side, here is a "hair report".  Yes, I am obsessed with my hair growth!  It's been a little over a month since my last chemo treatment.  Alexis (the wig lady) says that the hair starts growing about two weeks after the treatment ends.  I examine my head constantly for growth and was disappointed at first.  But now, I am glad to report that there is visable growth of nice thick dark hair-yay!  I am approaching crew-cut length.  My eyebrows have really filled in and my eye lashes are coming back as well.  

Tomorrow is Steve's 20-year high school reunion.  (Are we that old already?)  Since we went to the same high school a year apart, it's fun for both of us.  So we are going.  I feel great, I look pretty good considering what I've been through, and I think we have good reason to celebrate-so why not?  It should be fun.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween to everyone! This year my Halloween was more low key. But I still had to do my thing! We had a lot of fun. Everyone said that I look like my old self again. I'm not sure if that is a compliment-lol.