Happy New Year

New Year’s Eve is always a night for me to reflect, therefore, I feel compelled to write.  There have been quite a few years when I looked back and thought, “What a bad year this was, I hope next year is better.”  Oddly enough, on the New Year’s Eve of what should be considered the worst year of my life, I don’t have those feelings.  Yes, this was the most difficult challenge that I have had to face, but I did it and I did it well.  I learned so much about myself and I am proud of getting through it all.  When this all began, I never thought that I would look back at this year in such a positive way.  I have no regrets and as bizarre as it may seem, now I don’t even wish that this had never happened to me.  So many good things came out of this experience, and that makes it all okay.  I smile more, I feel stronger, I fear nothing, I say what I mean, I take nothing for granted, everything looks beautiful, and everything tastes great.

 

I don’t know what the new year will bring.  I hope for all good things, but what 2005 has given me is the knowledge that no matter what comes my way, I can handle it.  And just knowing that gives me such a sense of peace.  Not stressing over the little things in life is a big gift, so why shouldn’t I be happy? 

 

Happy New Year to everyone! 

First Day with the New Hair!

I did not plan to do it. Yesterday morning, when I was getting ready for Christmas dinner at my parent’s house, Steve came in the bathroom and said, “You really don’t have to wear the wig anymore.” I looked in the mirror and thought about it. My hair has grown in evenly, and you cannot see my scalp anymore. But it is very short. It’s kind of like a Caesar hair cut. So I called Andrea for a second opinion. She starting screaming, “Do it!” So I went out with no wig yesterday! It was so nice to have nothing on my head.

My family was happy and they thought I looked cute. My nephews, who are five and four years old, were never told that I lost my hair and wore a wig. So when they saw me, they said, “Aunt Jack got a hair cut!” Peter said that I looked like a boy name Jimmy in his class and Andrew said he liked it. They are too much. That night we went to my uncle’s house for dessert and surprised my whole family. They were very happy for me. My cousin Joey said that I look like a model with trendy hair. That was very sweet of him.

So now there’s no goingback at least with my family. How would I explain to my nephews that my hair grew back so quickly? So this may be the end of the wig. Everyone says that I shouldn’t wear it to work or anything. I think I’m going to take their advice. Another good thing!

Holiday Luncheon at my School

Yesterday was the last day of school before the Christmas break.  My principal invited me to the holiday luncheon.  I went so that I could see everyone before going back on the 3rd.  I had not seen anyone since the beginning of March, so I thought it would be nice to socialize with my friends without the kids around.

 

The whole ride there I was saying to myself, “You’re not going to cry!”  School was dismissing when I arrived and the first people I saw were my students from last year.  They were so happy to see me, and I started crying immediately!  So much for trying not to be emotional.  Their teacher said that when they heard I was coming back, they wanted to know if they get to go back to my class!  She is a friend of mine, and didn’t take it personally-ha-ha.

 

Everyone-teachers, aides, secretaries, custodians, bus drivers and their aides- were so happy to see me, and it was really great to be back.  Teachers who I had known for years who are survivors told me their stories.  People kept telling me that I look great.  And everyone kept telling me, “You’re home.”  And I really felt like I was home.  I teach in a great school and we really are like a family.  I won a poinsettia plant and the staff present from the principal and vice-principal was waiting with my name on it.  There were times when I wondered if people were forgetting me.  It was so wonderful to see that not only wasn’t I forgotten, but it was as if I never left. 

 

I met my substitute face-to-face for the first time.  She brought me to the classroom to show me around a bit.  It was strange because things were not exactly like I would arrange them.  But that is fine and I will make it my room again.  I felt bad because I could she that she will be sad to leave the kids. 

 

Everyone kept saying that they were praying so hard for me to get better and return and what a Christmas present this is.  It truly is the best present that I could ask for this year and I am so grateful for everyone who made it possible.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Latest Update

Today, I had my appointments with the pulmonary doctor and my oncologist.  After the last appointment with the pulmonary doctor, my oncologist said he wanted to see me one more time before he gave me the paper work that I need to go back to work.  I repeated the pulmonary function test and it is stable.  That is good because I am on less prednisone now than I was for my last test.  The pulmonary doctor is happy with my progress and wants me to have another CT scan of the chest in February.  My oncologist is also very happy with my progress.  He has given me the official "green light" to go back to work on January 3rd!  So I am very happy.  He also would like me to have a CT scan of the chest, abdomen, and pelvis.  I am having the scan on February 25 and I will see him again on March 2.  That is the day I will also see the ENT doctor about the nodule on my thyroid.  My doctor says that even though it is most likely benign, the ENT might want to operate to remove it.  (He was just giving me the worst case scenario.)  Actually, if it should come to that, I don't care.  After all I have been through, what's another surgery?  It will be fine.  

I asked my doctor when am I considered to be in remission and what is the definition of remission.  He said that remission is when there is no more evidence of disease.  He could not say that I am in remission after the last scan because of the inflammation he saw.  But if all goes well after the scan in February, he will be able to say that I am in remission.  He also said to tell people, "My oncologist says that I am doing great!"   

So, this was the best Christmas present I could get.  I am very happy.  I hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Year!  Thank you, again for your prayers and support.