An Anniversary

One year ago today, I had my lung biopsy.  What a difference a year makes!  Just felt like sharing.

Andrew's Sleep-Over

This weekend, I had my first sleep-over with my nephew Andrew. We had a lot of fun. He was such a big boy-he wanted to sleep in "Antonio's bed" (the bed my cousin from Italy slept in). We walked to the stables and saw the horses, went to the park, went shopping, played games, and went for a little nature walk in my yard. He also found my refrigerator with the freezer on the bottom very convenient because he was able to help him self to the "Dibs" ice cream balls. He enjoyed himself so much that he wanted to stay another night!

Surgery Date

After much thought and discussion with family and friends, I have decided to have my surgery as soon as possible and not wait until the summer.  I want to get this over and go on with my life.  I always put work and my students before myself.  If there is one thing I have learned, it is that nothing will fall completely apart without me.  I need to take care of myself first.

So, the date is April 18th which is the Tuesday right after Easter.  I'm happy because we have that week off from school.  If it is a four week recovery then I will only be out of work for three weeks.  I feel very relieved now that I have scheduled it.

Thyroid Report

I had my thyroid biopsy last Thursday.  It wasn't such a bad procedure.  They do it with no anesthetic because that would hurt worse than the actual biopsy needle.  And it really didn't hurt.  It was uncomfortable because they dig around in your throat and I couldn't stop swallowing even though they asked me to try not to.  A tranquilizer would have been nice. 

 

Anyway, my doctor called Monday night with the results.  They did not find cancer cells.  But they did find atypical cells.  So, he says I need to have surgery to see if it is thyroid cancer.  They will remove the right side of the thyroid and check my left side and lymph nodes to see if they are OK.  He said it is a 1-3 day hospital stay.  Recovery is about 4 weeks because I won't be allowed (or able I guess) to talk much because I will be hoarse.  He said that if I wanted to wait until the end of the school year it would not put me at any risk.  He said if it is cancer, I have caught it so early so that is good.  He also said that this cancer has a 99% cure rate.  So I told him that I will also get input from my lymphoma doctor then discuss it with Steve and my family before I decide when I will have surgery.

 

Mentally, I am OK.  I prepared myself for this.  I am not upset, it's almost like doctor's and procedures have become part of daily life.  It has to end one of these days.  Although, I am getting tired of it all.  But I do believe everything happens for a reason even if I don't understand it now.  I will let you all know when I decide about the surgery and get a date.

The Latest-3/06

I went to Sloan-Kettering on Thursday and Friday after repeating the CT scan last week.  Friday, I saw my oncologist.  Basically, my lungs look good (as good as they can look).  There will always be scarring so I will never have a perfect scan.  But I am off the prednisone for three weeks now and I don't need it anymore, so that is very good.  I am happy to say good-bye to my "moon face"!  I will repeat the scan three months from now.  But I must tell you what the doctor said to me because I don't think anyone has ever described me this way.  He said after seeing how I dealt with my treatment that I am "tough as nails".  I thought that was very cool.

 

Thursday, I went to see the ENT.  He checked me and said that the only way to know what is going on is to do a fine needle biopsy.  So, this Thursday I am scheduled to have that done.  He said that he does not operate unless there is something.  But he said the good news is that if it is "something" I will not die from it.  Thyroid cancer is very easy-you just cut it out and it is over.  I'm not afraid of the biopsy, and I don't think it will be cancer.  So, I am not worrying about it at all.  But prayers are good, so keep them coming!

 

My Keepsakes

Yesterday in church, the priest gave a good homily that I really related to.  He spoke about a difficult time in his life when he broke both his legs and endured many months of recovery.  When he broke his legs, he had to have surgery.  He explained that had this happened just decades before, they would not have been able to help him.  He most likely would never have walked again.  The interesting part of the story is that he saved his casts.  His reason for this was to always remember the gift of walking again that God has given him. 

When I first began to "stock up" on the essentials that I needed during my treatment-wig, bandanas, hats, etc...-I was sure that I would relish the day when I could throw them out in the trash.  Now I find myself, almost four months (wow!) post treatment, and I have not thrown any of it away.  As a matter of fact, I consider them to be very dear to me.  During yesterday's homily, I finally understood why.  Those items which at first symbolized my disease and my struggle now were symbols of what has been accomplished over this past year.  I always think about the fact that if I had this disease only decades ago, I would surely have died.  Through the grace of God, I have come through this alive and well, maybe even healthier than I have been in years!  So, I will keep these items to always remind me of how lucky I am and how God brought me through this difficult time in my life.

On the lighter side-this past Wednesday I had my first haircut in 11 months!!  It's very exciting.  My hair was not that long, but it needed shaping.  My stylist was very happy to see me.  He said that the back and sides are back to my normal length and that in a few weeks, my top will be also.  So now I actually have a hair style again!

Humor-It's OK to Laugh

Wow, I haven't written in a while.  I miss writing and there are things I still want to write about but there isn't as much time now that I am back to work.  By the way, work is still very good.  I am enjoying it very much!  I am not tired from it at all.

Anyway, I wanted to write about humor.  Last Friday, we had staff development day.  (No kids, all the teachers in my district gather in one place for workshops, speakers, etc...)  So I saw some teachers that I have worked with that aren't in my school.  One teacher friend who I have been emailing about my condition asked how many kids are in my class.  I told her 16 (very big for a special ed class).  She said-Don't you want to pull your hair out?  I responded-Since it is just growing in-no!  I thought that was funny, but I think she felt badly for putting it that way to me.  I told her not to worry, it's just my sense of humor.  Humor is OK--if someone with cancer cracks a joke it is OK to laugh.  I don't advise someone else to make jokes about it.  But I think it is good when a person with an illness sees humor.  I think it helps mentally.

There is a site called gotcancer.org with shirts that have funny sayings.  These are some of my favorites:

I have chemo-brain, what's your excuse?

Instant Survivor-Just Add Chemo

I love the smell of chemo in the morning.

My oncologist is better than your oncologist!

These are some of the things that crack me up.  Maybe I've lost it, but I think it's a good thing.