Faith

Faith is an interesting thing.  Everyone knows that the two things you do not discuss with mixed company are religion and politics.  Last night, we were at a dinner party when religion came up (not by us-I swear!).  I mostly kept quiet because I was meeting these people for the first time, and when I get emotional, it is hard for me to find the words to express myself.  And faith can not be argued because people without it need cold hard facts.

There was only one man who had a problem with religion in general.  He kept bringing up why does God allow bad things to happen, and specifically mentioned cancer without knowing my situation.  I made a few polite comments but he had a negative answer for everything.  Later that evening, someone asked me how I was doing.  So I went on to tell everyone how things are progressing and that I am doing very well.  I saw him giving a friend of mine the what does she have? look" (trying unsuccessfully to be subtle).  So I announced to those who did not know that I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma and just completed six months of chemotherapy.  I think this surprised him a bit to say the least.

I found it interesting that although he used cancer as an example of God's indifference toward man, he obviously was not directly affected by it.  You see, people who have been affected by it have a bond and will talk about it with each other.  People who have not experienced it (directly or indirectly) have a fear of even talking about it.  He was uncomfortable when I began to talk about my cancer experience.  If I could tell him something about faith, I would tell him not to worry about the cancer patients.  I cannot speak for everyone, but I have made many friends at Sloan of different faiths.  I have yet to meet someone who has lost faith, and never has anyone that I met questioned God's love for us all.  We pray for each other and give each other strength and encouragement.  So please do not use us as an example of why you do not have faith.

It's not something that you can understand unless you have lived it.  After getting through the initial shock of having cancer, I accepted this as part of God's plan for me.  Would I have raised almost $4,000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society if this had never happened?  Maybe because of my illness, a child with leukemia will have medicine that his or her family could not afford.  Isn't that such a cool thing?  Yes, in a perfect world everyone would have everything they need.  But we are not perfect and that's life.  Is that man doing something to make a difference instead of blaming God?

Everything is a matter of perception.  We can choose to see the ugly side of life or the beautiful side.  I don't like to preach to people because I have not walked in anyone else's shoes either.  But I do hope that by choosing to see everything as a gift, even the hard stuff, that I can influence people to choose to see the beauty in this world and to turn bad situations into positive ones.