You Can't Lose Your Baby Hair

Most people are very nice, and don't ask me if I have lost my hair from chemotherapy.  I don't mind telling anyone that I did lose my hair.  Not all chemotherapy medications cause hair loss, but mine does.  When I first began treatments, my nurse told me that  my hair would begin to fall out in two weeks.  And sure enough, it started to fall out exactly when she said it would.  I was in the hospital when I woke up one morning and saw all this hair on my pillow.  Funny story-I don't curse and never say f---.  When I told Andrea that I woke up with hair on my pillow she asked if I said f---.  I told her that I didn't.  She couldn't believe that wouldn't make me curse.  Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, when you have a life threatening illness hair loss should not be considered a major thing.  But it is.  I was so devastated.  I have always loved my hair.  I have a lot of thick dark brown hair and I wear it short.  When I would take a shower, it would just come out in clumps.  I would cry and cry.  Steve would wait for me to come out and look for me because I was afaid to look in the mirror.  He would give me the report.  But because I had so much hair, it took quite a few days for the hair loss to show.  But it did begin to show, and  after week, I was bald.  But, I do have a covering of wispy hair.  Steve has this theory-you can't lose your baby hair.  Being of Italian descent, I was naturally born with hair.  Right now, I have less hair than I did as a baby.  But Steve says that is because my head is bigger, and my baby hair is spread out on my adult head!  I just think that is a cute story.

Before I even began chemotherapy, Patricia found a wig place that specializes in cancer patients.  I went there so that they could see and match my hair.  The wig was ordered, and Alexis, the owner, cut it right on my head.  It is a fantastic wig, and people who have known me for years have said-it's great that you haven't lost your hair.  I always like to shock them by telling them that I am bald.  It's a fun thing to do.  I didn't get the wig because I don't want people to know that I am bald.  I have it to feel normal and look like myself.  When I first began to lose hair I swore that I would wear it everyday.  But as I got used to myself, I started to wear other things at home-like caps and bandanas.  I always wear my wig out, and very few people have seen me without it.  My chemo only makes the hair on your head fall out.  But, if you shave hair or if it falls out naturally, it doesn't grow back until chemotherapy is over.  I was not supposed to lose eye brows or lashes at all, but because it is almost 6 months of treatment now, and they fall out on their own, I now have a lot less of them.  But I am very good with make-up so people don't notice.  If there is anyone reading in the north Jersey area who is interested in getting a great wig, I went to Alexis' Wiggery in Ridgewood.  Alexis is very knowledgable and talented and I highly recommend her.

Steve being the wonderful husband that he is, has always been so matter of fact about my bald head.  It did not freak him out at all, as it did me.  The nice thing is that he loves to rub my head, which is very soothing.  His nickname for me head is coconut because that is what it looks like!  So I now have a sense of humor about being bald.  I can make jokes about it.  And there are perks as well.  Showers are a lot quicker because I don't have to shave my legs or arm pits.  I don't have to blow dry my hair.  And now I have a great wig, so when my  hair grows back I can use it on bad hair days!  They say it will take 2 to 4 months for my hair to grow back.  Given my Italian genes and the fact that I wear my hair short, I am betting that I will be wigless by two months after treatment.